i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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