can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
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Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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