Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
