if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
