Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
