i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
