I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
