he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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