found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
