I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
