but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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