We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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