Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My liver just had a heart attack.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
