My brain says no but my pants say off.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
