i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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