Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
