hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
