She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
