Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
