Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
