Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I look better un-naked...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The ass gains better be worth it
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
