They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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