You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
