It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
