Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
