i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
