She's like a pop up book from hell.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
