and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
