just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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