Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
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