All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
