I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
