Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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