Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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