it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
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She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
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I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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