Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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