office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
