My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
