Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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