There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
