Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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