Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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