Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
me + whiskey = a bad person
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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