she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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