just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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