Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am naked and annoyed.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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