we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
