be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
