I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
