I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
