I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The air was thick with penises
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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