HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
