matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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