it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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