a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
