Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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